"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" -Benjamin Franklin

Thursday, September 30, 2010


I got to work about 45 minutes early today.  So I sat down in my room to have my breakfast- Coffee, Yogurt, and some granola made by little old ladies that love Jesus.  Turned on my laptop and realized that I left my glasses at home- it might have been the fuzzy letters on the screen that gave it away.  I decided that when I was done with my yogurt and Jesus granola, I would ride back home and get my glasses- I should have just enough time, and it's probably unfair to my customers to tattoo without them.  Now, when I get to work early, I don't turn on the lights in the shop, just in my room.  Why?  Because if the lights are on, the animals know someone is inside, and even thought the hours are clearly printed on the door, they will stand outside and bang on the door expecting that they will be let in early.  I finished my breakfast and got ready to leave.  As I was walking to the door, a guy was getting back in his car after realizing that we were not yet open for business.  I walk out and lock the door behind me, and this idiot gets out of his car and says, "How much is yo tattoos?"  I give him my standard response to his stupid question: "It depends on the size and complexity of the tattoo", and start putting my helmet on.
"But like how much for a cross?"
"We're not open yet man, we open at noon."
"Yeah, I had seen dat on yo door, but I wants like a cross, how much is yo crosses?"
"It depends on the cross- I forgot my glasses at home and I have to go get them and get back before we open.  We'll be open at noon"
"Yeah, but how much it be for like a regular size cross?"
"I don't have time to talk right now, I have to get back in time to open the shop or we WON'T be open at noon".
I got on my bike and as I was starting it I heard him mumble something- I did catch 2 words- "Rude Motherfucker"

Which part of "WE DON'T OPEN TILL NOON" did this stupid fucker not understand?  And, how was I being rude by not standing in front of the shop half an hour before we open giving him prices on his stupid cross tattoo that he's not gonna get anyway, because when I give him a price he's gonna say something like "Why y'all so damn 'spensive".

Fuck you you stupid uneducated fuck!  Go back to the ghetto and get your cheap ass ghetto tattoo!  Does this fuckhead give people prices for a Whopper and Fries when he's not at work?


  1. LMFAO, You should have offered him a Jesus granola. :)

  2. I would have pretended I didn't speak English! lmao Some people just need killing!