"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" -Benjamin Franklin

Thursday, November 3, 2011

IDNTFS... but I do need pants.

There have been a few occasions lately where I have caught myself saying 'I Laughed Out Loud'.  Now, I didn't say it in the dopey interweb-speak LOL kinda way, I just happened to say, in conversation, something like "I don't usually laugh out loud watching TV, but..." or "I was reading XXXXXXXX, and it made me laugh out loud".  The problem is that I can't use that expression anymore without thinking about LOL.  And I fucking hate LOL!  I hate all that dumb ass interspeak.  I have never ROTF, and if I ever do, I will certainly not LMFAO while doing it..  I don't use these abbreviations when I write something on the web, nor do I use them when I text (as infrequently as I do that), and I sure as fuck will not use them when I speak.  I also do not substitute U for 'you' or 2 for 'to' or 'too', nor will I use 4 instead of 'for'.  This is absolutely idiotic, and represents the degeneration of the english language.  I also hate 'teh'  I know what it is, and have even mistakenly typed it myself, but I use the fuckin delete button and correct it.  Now people type it on purpose.  It's still 3 fuckin letters whether you spell it correctly or not, so why look like a dumbass that can't spell (or at least use spell check)?  It's not cute, it's not funny, and you're not saving keystrokes (which take fractions of a second off your life), so stop fuckin doing it.  I will also not censor myself.  I talk like a sailor in my daily life, so I will type like a sailor on the internet.  I don't walk around making a BLEEEEP noise when I curse, so why the fuck would I type things like FU(K or A$$.  Everyone knows what the FUCK your silly ASS is typing, so just grow the fuck up and use those words- they're good words.  I fully understand that the english language is an ever evolving creature, but it really seems to be moving backwards at this point.  Are we as a people so fucking lazy that everything has to be abbreviated, has the art of laziness progressed to the point of using as few syllables as possible?  So, to all the LOL's and ROTF's, I say:  IDNTFS!

Yesterday was my day off, and I need some new pants, so I went looking for some jeans.  I stopped at a couple of different places, but returned home sans new pants.  I know that it doesn't seem like a pair or two of jeans should be a difficult thing to procure, but somehow it is.  I'm pretty easy (or at least I thought I was) when it comes to pants- regular old Levis, the ones they've been making for something like 100 years- plain old Regular Fit- the same goddamn jeans I've been wearing for my entire life.  You can't find the damn things anymore.  You go to the store these days and they have everything but Regular Fit.  They have Relaxed Fit, Skinny, Super Skinny, Boot Cut, Slim Boot Cut, Comfort Fit....  What they have the most of is the damn Relaxed Fit.  Those of you that read my blog regularly have probably figured out that I am no where close to relaxed enough to wear anything that says 'relaxed'.  Guess what they have the least of- that's right, Regular Fit.  Regular-Fucking-Fit.  Regular, plain, simple, average, normal...call it whatever you want, but to me it sounds (in name) like the one they should have the fucking most of.  So, of course each store has a few pair of regular fit, but none in my size.  I guess that next Tuesday I will have to continue my quest for pants.  Maybe I'll just give up and buy the damn relaxed fit- of course I'll buy 'em a couple sizes too big and wear 'em pulled down, hanging off my ass like the rest of the retards

Here's something kinda cool...
Got this e-mail yesterday.  I don't generally think of my blog as something that very many people read- I get some comments on it here and there, but they are usually one of two things- the 'I totally agree with you' comment, or the 'You don't know what the fuck you're talking about' comment.  So, this was kind of a cool e-mail to get....

just wanted to let you know mate i've just finished reading your entire blog, and fuck me, its the most honest and refreshing thing i've read about tattooing in a long time. your comments on the fucked up state of tattooing today couldn't have been put any better. its now three o'clock in the morning here but i just haven't been able to tear myself away from it since i found the damn thing. i'm a tattooist from hastings in new zealand, and i can relate to all the same unoriginal, uninspired, and fucking ignorant people who make my job a damn sight harder than it has to be. everyone here is now a fucking expert after watching all that tattoo "reality" shit, enough that they are trying to tell my how to do my goddamn job.
half my time is spent trying to reducate people on all the bullshit they've been told by so called fucking "experts" and fixing or covering up the abortions that backyard fuckheads have been engraving on them.
until i read your post i had the same burnt out feeling, but know i'm actually motivated again to do what i love best.
i got into tattooing through punk rock and skateboarding back in the early 90's, back when there was no internet or reality tv to tell everyone how to think and dress, so i know where your coming from.
dont want this email to sound like i'm kissing arse, so just wanted to say cheers for the entertainment, look forward to your next post'



I'm glad that my bitter rantings could help someone- I've always said, "Bitterness is a Virtue". 

1 comment:

  1. I had the same battle at the exchange yesterday with Levi's as well. Except, in the Levi's for women, they now have Curvy Fit. I thought, this might be what I need since I'm now 4 months post baby. Nope. I just want my regular fucking jeans...in my size.