"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" -Benjamin Franklin

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Who's A Pretty Birdie?

A while back, I started a good sized tattoo of a Blue and Gold Macaw.  The customer already had a big Koi cover-up on her arm that I had done a year or so ago, and wanted something to match in size and style for her left arm.  She has a Bird like the one in the tattoo, and wanted it to have something of an Asian feel to match the other tattoo.  I finally got to finish it today, and the whole time I was tattooing her I kept saying, "Polly want a cracker?" and "Who's a pretty birdie?".  Why?  Because I'm kinda retarded like that and every time I said it, she rolled her eyes and told me I was stupid, which only made me do it more.  I'm easily amused and do stupid stuff to crack myself up.  I don't care if anyone else thinks it's funny, as long as it makes me chuckle.  Anyway, here's the tattoo:

Now, here's something I noticed tonight.  I saw this while reaching for the Grapefruit Juice.  I'm a big fan of Grapefruit Juice and everyone else in my house hates it, so that means all the Grapefruit Juice for me, Bitches!  But it's not the Grapefruit Juice i'm concerned with, it's the container of Orange Juice I really want you to look at:

'STILL 64 OZ'- what the fuck is that supposed to mean?  What advertising genius came up with that shit?  Usually you see things like 'NOW 10% MORE!' or 'NEW IMPROVED FORMULA', but 'STILL 64 OZ'?  That's like saying "HEY!  WE DIDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING" or "WE WERE GONNA FUCK YA, BUT WE DECIDED TO KEEP IT THE SAME SIZE".  Why not put something on there that would make me wanna buy it, like "IT'S DELICIOUS!" or another picture of an orange so I think there's even more delicious oranges in there.  Down below the little word balloon are the words HALF GALLON.  Maybe they're trying to let us know that our system of measurement hasn't changed and a half gallon is indeed still 64 oz.  Fuck it, I'm stickin' with my Grapefruit Juice.


  1. Funny...I'm the only grapefruit juice lover in our house too, so I share your feelings there! Just bought some yesterday as a matter of fact...ALL MINE!!!

  2. I know im late to comment , but i just found your blog. All that means is "we are not fucking you" . The price of food has gotten so high , that most manufacturers reduce the package size instead of changing the price . It's the worst type of fuckery .. less bang for the buck! great blog!